Building a New Life — Recovery From Addiction

Anyone who says dealing with addiction is accomplished by will power is only partly right. It does take will power, all you have, but will power alone is not enough. It’s extremely rare for someone to simply stop drinking or using drugs without support, without serious changes to their thinking and behavior, without talking to others who understand, without changing playgrounds and playmates, without some kind of transformation, either slow or sudden.

Where will power comes into play is making the decisions daily in recovery to do the things that lead you to a healthy mind, body and emotions. Lots of people start out strong and willful in recovery, saying they’ll never drink or use drugs again, they’ve seen the light, they want to go forward with a positive attitude and put addiction and all the consequences behind them. 

However, this resolution usually doesn’t last if there’s no support from others who understand addiction and recovery. It’s easy to say you’re putting the past behind, but it’s very hard to do so by just shutting it out of your mind. As long as life without alcohol/drugs goes splendidly well, it’s ok, but when life’s problems intrude, as happens in reality, the person’s will power is tested over and over. Old thoughts begin to creep in — the person sees his/her friends going to bars and getting loose with a few drinks, or a few joints, or a few pills or whatever. 

If there’s no help from others and there’s no realization and understanding that untreated addiction has a psychological factor which creates a desire to drink or use again after the drug’s removed from the body( even weeks or months after the person has stopped drinking or using) the person is blind-sided. He/she can use will power alone to fight the desire to drink or use again but this usually wears him/her down mentally and emotionally, making life even more difficult. The struggling person becomes what Bill Wilson, the co-founder of AA, called irritable, restless and discontent.

Life becomes grey and boring. There are biological reasons for this grey outlook along with psychological reasons. Addiction changes brain chemistry. It takes a long time for the brain chemistry to readjust and become a recovery state of mind, so to speak. Going through this alone with just will power, not understanding what’s happening or how to deal with it, becomes overpowering. This breakdown of willpower precipitates a return to drinking or using some other drug of choice. The person usually rationalizes their return to drinking or using by saying it’s been awhile, health has returned, they’ve learned a lesson to keep the drinking/using moderate, to not overdo it, on and on. Then, in matter of time, addiction has taken hold again and life, once again, is spiraling out of control. 

A feeling of weakness and shame takes hold because will power was insufficient. It becomes more difficult for the person to reach out for help. There’s tendency for the person to harden against reality, but it’s really a feeling of hopelessness and desire to escape the emotional and mental pain. This is when there’s the greatest need to reach out for help and let others in who understand addiction and recovery, to receive help with an open mind. There’s no shame  realizing you need the help of others in life at times.

Recovery from addiction is a long process. You can say it’s a life-long process. There doesn’t become a time when the recovered person is capable of drinking and using without consequences. Recovery should be about change that makes it possible to deal with problems without alcohol or cocaine or opiates or whatever — for life to be what Bill Wilson called happy, joyous and free. Not happy, joyous and free all the time, of course, but dealing with the ups and downs, remaining clean and straight through it all, growing stronger all the time. There’s an old saying in recovery communities — you’re the only one who can do it, but you can’t do it alone.