Most people who consider entering addiction treatment are uncertain and, perhaps, fearful because they don’t know what to expect. At NewDay, we do an orientation upfront, so clients know the process of addiction treatment. But, if someone is too fearful or apprehensive, they might not make it that far — they might not pick the phone to make the call for admission to begin with. To make it easier, we offer a free consultation. There’s no pressure, we just talk about the possibility — we never pressure anyone.

Admission into addiction treatment is nothing to fear. We don’t judge anyone, so if a person has shame, we put them at ease from the beginning. I can’t imagine any treatment facility that would negatively judge anyone seeking help. Access to addiction treatment should be easy, understanding and supportive. When our accreditation company, CARF, does their survey of our facility once every few years, they stress access. We have to come up with an access plan that’s always looking for ways to make access open, helpful and supportive. The hardest part of admission to addiction treatment is the paperwork, but we have to get a lot of information because information is so important in treatment. We assure clients that federal laws protect their privacy and confidentiality, although we’d respect privacy and confidentiality without the laws — confidentiality is a big part of what makes treatment work. If we’re asking clients to be open and honest, then we have to do our part and respect this part of the process.

Along with a clinical evaluation, there’s also a medical clearance upfront to make sure each client admitted to outpatient has been medically cleared and is appropriate for this level of care. The doctor might give a client medication in the beginning, if they’re experiencing withdrawal symptoms that can be medically managed outside an inpatient detox. Once the client has cleared the medical and clinical evaluations, they are given an orientation and a client handbook that states what’s to be expected. We also give clients their list of rights. Again, confidentiality is one of these rights. We encourage clients to read their rights and talk with the administrator if they think any right is being violated, or even if they are having some other problem with treatment unrelated to rights. We want clients to have a healing, positive experience.

When the client starts treatment, they go to their first group, and this can produce a little anxiety if the person hasn’t been in group therapy before. Groups are educational and therapeutic. Most clients say, after attending a few groups, that it was nothing like they imagined or feared. They find people just like themselves who are at a point in life where they discovered they need a change, or they are attending group because others (a supervisor, a husband, a friend, a judge) think there’s a problem and they’re willing to find out if they have a problem or not. We don’t allow anything in group that resembles bullying or any other angry, mean or negative responses meant only to deflect and hurt someone. Group is usually honest and supportive. These are all adults who’re simply using one another, with the guidance of a counselor, to gain strength and to establish that no one is alone in this struggle.

The client will also have individual sessions with their counselor. The counselor will establish a treatment plan that the client helps to formulate and the client agrees with. The treatment plan establishes treatment goals, and objectives to accomplish the goals– the counselor establishes in the treatment plan what will happen to accomplish the objectives and what will be referred to a long term plan after discharge. Treatment is just the beginning of recovery. 

During treatment, the client learns coping skills to prevent relapse. After discharge, the client has to continue practicing these coping skills in order to enhance and strengthen recovery. Addiction causes the brain to think in a very destructive way, and, in recovery, a person must practice thinking in ways that enhance recovery until recovery seems as natural as the drinking or other drug use seemed before.

All through the process of addiction treatment, the client is encouraged to ask questions if something is unclear. We also encourage the client to talk with their spouse or significant other who’ll be important to their recovery to gain knowledge of addiction and the process of recovery. We try to give family members as much guidance and education as we can, but we’re limited in what we can accomplish in 8 weeks. We recommend, if there are serious relationship problems, long term counseling be explored. It’s a mistake for the client or their significant other to think that treatment is a panacea for addiction. Treatment is the beginning — it’s designed to stabilize, educate, motivate and plan for long term recovery. Real recovery’s outside treatment in the support systems the client builds with the skills they gain in treatment. Make no mistake, building these support systems, like family, friends, AA or church, is the responsibility of the client when they leave treatment. No one is coming to make them build the support system, they have to do it themselves. although others will most likely help them if they ask, but they have to ask. This is long way of saying there’s nothing to fear about the process of addiction treatment. It works if the person continues to work on their recovery. The road might be bumpy, but recovery is worth the effort.

Bars without alcohol? Crazy, huh? Not really. Alcohol free clubs might become a big thing. Lots of people who don’t have a problem with alcohol, per se, are choosing to go without alcohol for periods of time, and some choose to not drink at all. Society has been brain washed with the idea that if you go to bars, clubs, pubs, you have to have alcohol or you won’t have a good time. That’s not true. Because there’s a growing demand for alcohol-free clubs, the market’s responding.

At NewDay, we tell out clients if it’s true they can’t have a good time without an artificial stimulus in their system, then that’s a sad statement. It’s not true. People can learn to have a good time without alcohol, and, for the alcoholic, have a better time. For alcoholics in the middle and late stages of alcoholism, the good times are mostly gone — drinking becomes a string of consequences, isolation and progressively worse hangovers, plus serious medical conditions.

Alcohol-free bars, though, are for anyone, and I have a hunch they’ll catch on. Bars without alcohol? What a great concept!

Unless treated effectively, alcoholism progressively gets worse, so, when considering the older alcoholic, one sad fact stands out — many alcoholics die prematurely – they don’t become “older alcoholics”. Those who live to drink for years and enter late-stage alcoholism suffer greatly, and often, practically, alone. Below is taken from NIH:

Alcohol-Related Deaths:

• • An estimated 88,000⁵ people (approximately 62,000 men and 26,000 women⁵) die from alcohol-related causes annually, making alcohol the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. The first is tobacco, and the second is poor diet and physical inactivity.⁶
  • In 2014, alcohol-impaired driving fatalities accounted for 9,967 deaths (31 percent of overall driving fatalities).⁷

Older alcoholics entering treatment are often in denial, and they’ll say they don’t drink as they did in their younger days. The family will tell a different story about constant drunkenness. Both sides are usually correct. The older alcoholic likely has liver damage that prevents the liver from functioning properly, so it takes less alcohol to produce inebriation. The older alcoholic (or, the older person with an alcohol use disorder) has been drinking so long that inebriation seems like a normal state — the person can no longer see themselves as others see them.

The older alcoholic often says they have earned the right to do what they want to do, after all, if they’re hurting themselves, it’s nobody’s business. They can’t see how loved ones are affected by their mental and emotional absence. Soon, if the person continues to drink, serious physical conditions will develop and reality will have its say regardless of the person’s denial. You can find online all the physical complications that arise from long term alcoholism, and all the causes of the premature death.

The sad thing about a person living to an old age with an alcohol use disorder is that it eventually evolves into a living nightmare that can linger for years. Family members watch helplessly as the person destroys himself or herself one drink at a time. The person the family and friends once knew is gone. Often the older alcoholic, deep down, wants to quit, but they just can’t find a way out. There is hope. There is way out for people in late-stage alcoholism. It’s difficult, but recovery can happen at any age — the physical damage might be irreversible, but at least the person can live with dignity for the time remaining.

Dealing with addiction trauma is never easy. It’s a long term process that can take years. The mistake many make in early recovery is trying to do too much at one time. First, the person needs to learn how to live comfortably without alcohol, cocaine, opiates or whatever the drug of choice may be. But, if recovery were easy, after the drug is out of the body, that should be the end of it. Just tell yourself – I’ll never do that again – and then go on with your business.

It’s not like that. Addiction causes trauma, and the addict reinforces drug use to deal with the trauma on a regular basis over a long period of time. The trauma increases, and so does the drug use. Trauma caused by addiction can create guilt and shame, anger, fear, depression, free floating anxiety, etc. The addict feels terrible without the drug, so the mind says use the drug and the bad feelings will go away — this becomes ingrained. The bad feelings don’t really go away they just become buried to pop up in destructive ways.

In recovery the consequences of trauma can be overwhelming if they aren’t dealt with. Recovery is not just about staying away from drugs, it’s about self improvement that creates a desire to keep improving with the knowledge that drug use will damage all the good work done so far. Recovery is about turning around and facing the trauma of addiction, but dealing with it as you are ready, not all at one time. It’s ok to go at a pace that’s not overwhelming. The addict in recovery learns they have a long life ahead, hopefully, and recovery is about making progress, not becoming perfect.

There’s no need for the recovering addict to be hard on herself. Yes, recovery is about taking responsibility, but not beating yourself up. What’s done has been done. If the addict can change what’s been done, then good, change it, but if they can’t, they have to accept it and try to not to the same things again. Peace of mind is a great achievement – it has to be gained through acts of self-improvement. Once you gain it, you don’t want to lose it.

A new year in recovery, one day at a time. I hope all those who’re in addiction recovery made it through the holidays with their recovery intact. I also hope this is a great new year for everyone. Recovery from addiction opens possibilities. Those who started their addiction early may not even be aware of their capabilities. Clarity of mind opens up many avenues in employment, social life, relationships, spiritual pursuits, emotional health and physical well-being.

A well rounded recovery-management plan entails exercise (within your limitations), nutrition, meditation, journaling new thoughts and emotions in order to track growth, working on relationships, openness to spirituality, talking with people who understand the highs and lows of recovery, a commitment to honesty, making amends, when possible, to those you harmed, helping others when the opportunity arises, and a general awareness of new possibilities. Perhaps you are in a dead end job — in recovery you can research different fields of employment that interest you, and start working on a plan to gain the specialized knowledge to do this type of work. A good friend of mine went onto nursing when he was 35, and within 10 years he was supervising over a dozen nurses in a large hospital. I’ve had ex-clients who went from being unemployable to high paid professional careers in various fields of endeavor.

One of the brightest spots dealing with people in recovery is when someone tells me they’ve mended relationships and are simply happy with life. After all, being at peace with ourselves and loved ones is probably the most important achievement. But so many things become possible in recovery, it’s really amazing. It’s like living for years in semi-darkness, then a light comes on and you can see clearly. I wish everyone in recovery the best in this coming year — may you all seize the possibilities and find peace. Remember – the New Year starts a New Day. Yes, that was corny.

Holidays in recovery can be tough for some. Most people in early recovery from addiction dread the holiday season. It’s a time of merriment, over-eating, and consumption of alcoholic beverages. I guess if the person’s addiction was cocaine or some other drug, the holidays can just as hard. There’s something about the holiday season at the end of year that makes people want to relax and enjoy themselves. The problem with addiction is that it never takes a holiday.

Although the temptation might be great to rationalize just a few drinks, a few joints or a few lines as the new year rolls around, the recovering addict, especially in early recovery, has to take precautions. People in early recovery learn they don’t have to take a mood altering drug, and, yes, alcohol is a mood altering drug, to have a good time. Going to a big holiday party when you are in early recovery, though, might be awkward – you’re stone cold sober and the tension can get uncomfortable, so you might want to skip the parties you know will be a little rowdy, or you might want to carry along a supportive friend who understands your recovery.

If you’re attending AA or NA, they usually have holiday celebrations that really teach the newcomer how to laugh, relax and have a good time without booze or any other drug. Most people who have been in recovery for a few years have no problem at all around the holidays, they can go to parties, be around frivolity and not feel at all awkward, although many find that people who drink a lot at parties aren’t as interesting as they seemed before. Many people with years of recovery find other more enriching things to do around the holidays, like spending quality time with family and friends, or helping someone who is in early recovery. The good thing about being clean and straight during the holidays is you remember what happened and you probably didn’t embarrass yourself. Happy Holidays and have a great New Year! Holidays in recovery are what you make them.

It’s difficult for people to understand addiction is nothing to take lightly, especially when it’s a young person in early addiction. Even those who are older don’t quite understand the serious nature of addiction. It does no good to hammer the point home when someone is just beginning to ask to help. A 19 year old girl in early addiction won’t respond very well to warnings that addiction will kill her, at least in the beginning of treatment. Not that addiction can’t lead to an early death, it’s just something very difficult for a young person to perceive when they’ve just started experiencing consequences and still feel relatively healthy.

In the beginning of treatment, a 40 year old might even have a hard time truly understanding that addiction kills. When someone with an addiction disorder has not had a close brush with death, they feel as if they haven’t gone so far that death is a concern. It’s easy to look up the statistics regarding premature deaths caused by addiction, but statistics don’t always convince people. I don’t like to think of all the people I’ve known through working in treatment, and in my extended family, who’ve died prematurely from the consequences of addiction. 

Outside my family, the first person I knew through treatment who died early was Billy, an 18 yr old young man who was one of my clients in an inpatient facility. Billy loved music and played the guitar in his room every chance he had. Billy wrote songs and could sing fairly well. He had come to the facility because he was addicted to heroin. Sometimes, in some people, addiction advances slowly and can take years before there are serious problems, and in others the addiction advances quickly. Billy was the type in which addiction advanced quickly. The problem was Billy didn’t accept his addiction was that serious. He snuck out of treatment one night — three days later he was hospitalized due to an overdose – a day later we heard he was brain-dead — a few days later we heard Billy was dead.

I could add many more stories – the suicides, the car wrecks while drunk, cirrhosis of the liver at 45, young people, middle age, older, on and on. There are many, many recovery stories, too. I often wonder why some get it and recover and others don’t. It would help if society understood the serious nature of addiction and there weren’t still antiquated ideas floating around promoted by people who just don’t have a clue. I try to convey to clients, in different ways to diverse types of people,  addiction is serious, and it has to be taken seriously at any age. Addiction is nothing to take lightly.

Women in recovery face unique challenges, especially women with children. Recovery itself is very challenging for men or women, but when a woman has kids and not much support from family members, if any support at all, it can become overwhelming. Most women are great at giving care, but not so good at asking for help. Women in recovery also battle shame. Shame and resentment are two dangerous relapse triggers, so they must be faced and dealt with.

Most women in long term recovery have established a strong foundation in a community of women who’re also in recovery. This can be a women’s-only AA group or any such group of women helping each other grow in sobriety. Having support from others who understand your problems is a relief. Women discover they don’t have to do it alone and don’t have to have all the answers — they learn to ask for help and accept care-giving from others. Most times when a woman feels over-loaded with responsibilities and over-whelmed with shame or life in general, it’s because she hasn’t asked anyone to help her. It’s amazing how many people are willing to help out if you simply ask them. There’s no shame in asking for help.

It’s important for women in recovery to take time-outs, even if they think there’s no time to take. Ten minutes is enough sometimes to get centered and to relax. Practicing meditation is a powerful technique to deal with stress. It doesn’t have to be the meditation people usually think of, like crossing your legs and chanting — it can be a period of silence in which you seek a calm place in your mind and tell yourself that the struggle is worth it, and that one day all your present efforts in recovery will pay off. They’re probably already paying off and just need to be recognized and appreciated. This time-out can be for anything  relaxing or fun or enlightening. Sometimes you just need to dance and sing.

Recovery might be hard in the beginning, but, with support and new, empowering thoughts and emotions that turn into actions, recovery becomes real, the shame subsides, a new-found energy is generated and new purpose and meaning arise. It’s hard to deal with responsibilities and the stresses of life in the haze and chaos of active addiction, especially when the consequences of addiction are causing more stress and shame daily. Women in recovery face a lot of challenges, but most of them have made it this far, and even though addiction deteriorates everything that’s held dear, making it through the addiction into recovery is a feat of great courage. My advice to women in recovery – build on that courage in recovery, with the help of others, and be good to yourself — oh, and don’t drink or use. Here’s the article that inspired me to write this – I should have just pointed to this link.

I don’t want to unnecessarily scare, or try to scare, anyone when it comes to drinking alcoholic beverages. This post is about facts related to alcoholism that are good to know, whether one has a problem with alcohol or not . The majority of people who drink alcohol don’t have a problem, but around 10% who drink alcohol suffer from alcoholism. It’s sort of like people who eat chocolate — there’s nothing wrong with a little chocolate that I know of, but if a person weighs 280 pounds and suffers from diabetes, it’s a different story.

Although most people drink alcohol with no problems, alcoholism causes many problems, including premature death. Below are statistics from SoberLink that many might not know:

Alcohol is the most abused drug in the United States and affects more than 27 million individuals.

 

Over 88,000 Americans lose their lives due to alcohol each year, at an average of 30 years prematurely. This includes 5,000 youth under 21. Nearly 200,000 youth went to the ER in 2008 due to injuries sustained as a result of alcohol abuse.

And the number of deaths caused by alcohol are skewed because often the cause of death is recorded as something other than what likely caused the death. A death might be recorded as caused by a heart attack, but the person might have had a drinking problem that led to and played a major role in the heart attack. Many times family members won’t give information that’s embarrassing. But the numbers are sobering enough as they are, no pun intended. You’d think something that causes these many premature deaths would receive more news coverage. Because alcohol is society’s accepted and legal drug, it’s not thought of as we think of opiates or cocaine, so the problem is either ignored or minimized. Ask anyone who works in an ER and they’ll tell you that alcoholism and alcohol abuse are very serious problems. 

If you listen to the news, you’d think the most abused drug is an opiate related drug, but alcohol causes far more damage and premature deaths than opiates. Even when alcohol’s not the primary drug of choice, in treatment we see people come in with a problem, say, with cocaine, and they make it perfectly clear that they don’t have a problem with alcohol.. They leave treatment ignoring our warning about alcohol consumption being a trigger that can lead them back to cocaine. We get a call in a few months, and the person’s using cocaine again — we have them come in to talk with us, and it’s often the same story — they were at a bar drinking alcohol, their judgement was impaired, an old friend had cocaine and offered it to them, and they relapsed.

Alcoholism costs society billions of dollars that’s hidden from most people, unless you work in a job that keeps up with such costs. Below is an excerpt from VeryWellMind:

The CDC estimates that 40 percent of the cost of excessive alcohol consumption is paid by federal, state, and local governments.

 

The biggest cost is loss of workplace productivity. Healthcare costs, crime and law enforcement, as well as motor vehicle crashes are also among the top alcohol-related expenses.

The CDC estimates that these figures are all underestimated because alcohol’s involvement in sickness, injury, and death is not always available or reported. These figures also do not include some medical and mental health conditions that are the result of alcohol abuse.