Healthy, Wise, Sober & Clean

I’ve heard over and over from people just starting out in recovery from addiction that it feels like life is over. It might seem obvious to most that abstinence is expected if a person’s going to recover from addiction, but for the one addicted the acceptance of this painful reality is difficult. When someone receives a serious medical diagnosis, it takes a while for the reality to set in. The same is true when someone gradually accepts that chemical dependence is a reality and abstinence is expected in recovery. To tell the person at this point that the end goal is to become healthy, wise, sober and clean is enough to make their eyes roll and stomach turn.

In the person’s mind they try to imagine going to a restaurant without drinking wine — they imagine not stopping into a Sports Bar on the weekend, drinking beer and watching football — not smoking pot and listening to a great new musical release from their favorite artist — not getting chemically loose and in the mood before sex — no drug-induced inspiration when dealing with creative endeavors — on and on. Most of these images are old images that no longer fit the current reality. In most cases the drug has quit adding the original pleasure or expected result — the drug is mainly causing problems, but the mind tends to remember the pleasant, and repress the unpleasant. 

This is from the book Alcoholics Anonymous:

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.  No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.  Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.  The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.  The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

This was written in 1939. The basic message applies today, to women, to young people, to old people, to all races and to other drug addictions. When the addicted person realizes and accepts the problem, the idea of life-long abstinence is almost always overwhelming. This is where the concept One Day At A Time came from. The person in recovery can stay clean and sober today, then commit again tomorrow. Before long, weeks, months and years have gone by. If the person’s using recovery in a holistic way, they’re exercising, eating well, improving their minds and nourishing their spirit. In doing so, life becomes good, and the person realizes they can do anything anyone else can do except drink or use some other drug of choice.

In most cases, the people I know in long term recovery don’t want to drink alcohol or use some other drug, because it’ll ruin the good life they’re living. In real recovery, when the person’s committed to holistic recovery, the struggle to stay away from the drug, and bemoaning the ability to “relax and have a good time”, transforms into a pull from a better life that creates the desire to seek more healthy, wise, sober & clean improvement. Instead of using energy to stay away from something bad, the person is pulled toward something good. This makes all the difference.